After about 5.5 weeks of continued, ongoing, non-improving back pain with new numbness and tingling, I went to see my primary care physician, JD. After explaining my symptoms to him, he decided to do a test. He pricked the sides of my legs to see if I was having any diminished sensation. Well, sadly, I was. He said that it was consistent with an increase in the amount of herniation at my disc site. I’m totally not happy about that. All of this increased pain from going to see a doctor so that maybe I could get better, and instead, I am worse off.
So uncool.
Therefore, my doctor is sending me to get another MRI. This time it is at a different campus, and the MRI machine is not as good. Oh, well. I have no idea how I am going to make it through the MRI with this worsening back pain. Honestly? It’s going to be terrible.
The other shitty thing is that it’s late in the day – 5:10pm. I don’t know how I am going to make it all the way through the day, trying to mitigate as much pain as possible, then drive there. Jeez, by the time I get there, I’m already going to be done.
Since the MRI is so late, I won’t have any results until probably Monday, probably late day at that as well, considering that any emergencies over the weekend will take priority.
Unfortunately, now we are talking surgery. Not that I am opposed to surgery, not at all. The only issue is, it will probably only fix the numbness and tingling. That’s why I was never a candidate before, because I didn’t have numbness and tingling.
I don’t even know what to think anymore.
The other awful thing was that when I asked my doctor how this impacted my long term health of my back, he said “you were going to always have problems before this, and now, yeah, you will always have problems.”
I don’t even know what that means.
I hate the idea that I’m always going to be in some type of pain. How has this happened? I mean, I know, but, how so bad?
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Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com