Move Complete – Part 2 December 8, 2014

So once I got here, I thought everything was fine. I arrived on a Saturday evening and while people moved the RV to a safer location to park it, I kind of wandered around the new apartment, taking a look at where things had been placed and such. I actually felt pretty good?? I’m not sure what happened after that. I went to bed that night and woke up the next day sore, but not too bad. I had a big Green Bay game against the Patriots that day and don’t remember being in too much pain while I laid in bed watching it. I had to watch it on my phone because, of course, my internet did not work right off the bat. Thankfully, I have Verizon and they have a deal with the NFL that you can stream it over your phone. Needless to say, my phone bill will be big this month because I blew through my data plan. However, it was well worth it to see that game.

My point is, I don’t remember to much pain just laying there. Then, I went for a walk. That may have done it. We walked all the way around my complex. I’m not sure if it was the slight incline or if it was the length of the walk (about double what my biggest walk was in San Mateo). However, the more I have thought about it over the last few days, I’m leaning toward the walk. Either that, or the adrenaline wore off or the swelling in my body got worse after 24 hours. Pretty much that night was very painful and started a cascade of pain. I had planned only on going for a very small walk, just to poke my head outdoors, but the person I was with kind of distracted me and I kept going. Again, I never feel the pain while I am doing something, it always seems to settle in later? That’s why it is so hard for me to gauge things sometimes and why I have such a mind-fuck going on when I do something (why I’m so scared to try things). I just wanted to get an idea of where I was and such. Like and idiot though, I did it, and now I can’t tell what caused the pain.

Now it’s been just over a week since the move and I’m still doing terribly. I love to talk to my 4 year old niece over the iPad on FaceTime, and I can’t even do that. I spoke to her for about 45 minutes yesterday and spent the next two hours in bed crying. I love that little girl and it kills me that I can’t pick her up, go visit her, or kiss her. All I have is the ability to talk to her over FaceTime and now I can’t even do that. My brother offered to bring the kids out in the next few weeks, but I have to decline. If I can’t even talk to them on the iPad for 45 minutes, then I don’t think it’s such a good idea to see them.

I’m very sad over what is going on. I’m trying to keep in mind that I just undertook a big endeavor, and that recuperating will take time, but I’m just scared. Ever since I first got hurt, I just keep getting worse. Every time I have injured myself since in regards to my back, I get somewhat better, but I never return to my previous level of functioning. I hope I do this time.

This blog was made possible thanks to Godaddy coupon 149scott and some Petco coupons. I just used the Petco coupons to get a new fake-grass potty mat for a dog. It worked well. You will like the coupons.

**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Almost move time November 26, 2014

Almost time to move. The big day is on Friday.

It’s a bit nerve wracking, to say the least. I feel like I am dead man walking – waiting and knowing of my demise. I fear this trip will make me so much worse that I won’t be able to tolerate the pain at all. I fear being worse than I am now. I fear not being able to concentrate anymore because the pain is bad. I fear not having any reprieve.

This will all be done this week though. Sunday, hopefully, will be fine. It is the day after the drive. I have my Green Bay Packers game and I hope I am able to get lost in it and deal with whatever comes my way.

Please wish me luck, I really need it. I haven’t been this scared ever in my life. I’ve had a sense of dread before, but nothing like this.

Thanks to you for reading my blog — here is a GoDaddy coupon and some Petco coupons to say thanks!

**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Busy week ahead of me November 11, 2014

I have quite the busy week ahead of me.

I will be moving in two weeks to sunny San Diego. I have a bit of help down there, so that will be helpful with my back. I’m terrified of getting down there, which is a whole other story.

This week will be tough as I have to pack again. That’s always hard on my back and hard on my psyche. It won’t be as bad as it was a few months back, because a lot of it is still in boxes, and was weaned from how much stuff I had before.

I have tried to break the rooms down by the day.

Tomorrow I have friends coming over to help me pack my clothes. That will be the hardest. I feel like I need to wean through the clothes again because I haven’t seen the apartment I am moving to and I don’t know how much will fit. I can’t do any of the packing myself so it will have to be pretty much straight forward. It will be a quick go or stay. If I can at least wean throw 1/4 of it, that will be good. Plus, it will save me the space and I can put other things in its place.

Wednesday I have a friend coming over and she will help me pack my kitchen, plus all my documents for MetLife and Social Security. That has me a bit nervous, because if I need that stuff, it won’t be with me. As for dishes and stuff, again … weaning. I will wean it down to the bare minimums. I just don’t want to have to pack that stuff again some day.

Thursday will be lose ends. Pretty much anything we didn’t get done the last two days. I have some stretching blocks, my dvds, and remotes and such. Just kind of random stuff.

Then on Saturday will be my bathroom stuff. I will be going au naturel for the next week or so.

That’s pretty much it. Then it will be a week and half of not much stuff. That’s okay, I don’t require much anyways.

So to summarize, just trying to break it all down to easy, manageable days so as to not overtax myself (the irony is I don’t want to overtax myself pointing at what everyone else should do — man, my life is terrible). Tomorrow will be the worst. I’m not sure how much help that group of friends will be, or if they are really even up for doing it. Last time they all just sort of sat around drinking and chatting and I was left there not wanting to be an asshole and be like “I can’t move anything myself! Please! I need help! Stop talking!”

I’ll let you know how it goes next week.

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**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com