Move Complete – Part 2 December 8, 2014

So once I got here, I thought everything was fine. I arrived on a Saturday evening and while people moved the RV to a safer location to park it, I kind of wandered around the new apartment, taking a look at where things had been placed and such. I actually felt pretty good?? I’m not sure what happened after that. I went to bed that night and woke up the next day sore, but not too bad. I had a big Green Bay game against the Patriots that day and don’t remember being in too much pain while I laid in bed watching it. I had to watch it on my phone because, of course, my internet did not work right off the bat. Thankfully, I have Verizon and they have a deal with the NFL that you can stream it over your phone. Needless to say, my phone bill will be big this month because I blew through my data plan. However, it was well worth it to see that game.

My point is, I don’t remember to much pain just laying there. Then, I went for a walk. That may have done it. We walked all the way around my complex. I’m not sure if it was the slight incline or if it was the length of the walk (about double what my biggest walk was in San Mateo). However, the more I have thought about it over the last few days, I’m leaning toward the walk. Either that, or the adrenaline wore off or the swelling in my body got worse after 24 hours. Pretty much that night was very painful and started a cascade of pain. I had planned only on going for a very small walk, just to poke my head outdoors, but the person I was with kind of distracted me and I kept going. Again, I never feel the pain while I am doing something, it always seems to settle in later? That’s why it is so hard for me to gauge things sometimes and why I have such a mind-fuck going on when I do something (why I’m so scared to try things). I just wanted to get an idea of where I was and such. Like and idiot though, I did it, and now I can’t tell what caused the pain.

Now it’s been just over a week since the move and I’m still doing terribly. I love to talk to my 4 year old niece over the iPad on FaceTime, and I can’t even do that. I spoke to her for about 45 minutes yesterday and spent the next two hours in bed crying. I love that little girl and it kills me that I can’t pick her up, go visit her, or kiss her. All I have is the ability to talk to her over FaceTime and now I can’t even do that. My brother offered to bring the kids out in the next few weeks, but I have to decline. If I can’t even talk to them on the iPad for 45 minutes, then I don’t think it’s such a good idea to see them.

I’m very sad over what is going on. I’m trying to keep in mind that I just undertook a big endeavor, and that recuperating will take time, but I’m just scared. Ever since I first got hurt, I just keep getting worse. Every time I have injured myself since in regards to my back, I get somewhat better, but I never return to my previous level of functioning. I hope I do this time.

This blog was made possible thanks to Godaddy coupon 149scott and some Petco coupons. I just used the Petco coupons to get a new fake-grass potty mat for a dog. It worked well. You will like the coupons.

**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Diego. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Almost move time November 26, 2014

Almost time to move. The big day is on Friday.

It’s a bit nerve wracking, to say the least. I feel like I am dead man walking – waiting and knowing of my demise. I fear this trip will make me so much worse that I won’t be able to tolerate the pain at all. I fear being worse than I am now. I fear not being able to concentrate anymore because the pain is bad. I fear not having any reprieve.

This will all be done this week though. Sunday, hopefully, will be fine. It is the day after the drive. I have my Green Bay Packers game and I hope I am able to get lost in it and deal with whatever comes my way.

Please wish me luck, I really need it. I haven’t been this scared ever in my life. I’ve had a sense of dread before, but nothing like this.

Thanks to you for reading my blog — here is a GoDaddy coupon and some Petco coupons to say thanks!

**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Busy week ahead of me November 11, 2014

I have quite the busy week ahead of me.

I will be moving in two weeks to sunny San Diego. I have a bit of help down there, so that will be helpful with my back. I’m terrified of getting down there, which is a whole other story.

This week will be tough as I have to pack again. That’s always hard on my back and hard on my psyche. It won’t be as bad as it was a few months back, because a lot of it is still in boxes, and was weaned from how much stuff I had before.

I have tried to break the rooms down by the day.

Tomorrow I have friends coming over to help me pack my clothes. That will be the hardest. I feel like I need to wean through the clothes again because I haven’t seen the apartment I am moving to and I don’t know how much will fit. I can’t do any of the packing myself so it will have to be pretty much straight forward. It will be a quick go or stay. If I can at least wean throw 1/4 of it, that will be good. Plus, it will save me the space and I can put other things in its place.

Wednesday I have a friend coming over and she will help me pack my kitchen, plus all my documents for MetLife and Social Security. That has me a bit nervous, because if I need that stuff, it won’t be with me. As for dishes and stuff, again … weaning. I will wean it down to the bare minimums. I just don’t want to have to pack that stuff again some day.

Thursday will be lose ends. Pretty much anything we didn’t get done the last two days. I have some stretching blocks, my dvds, and remotes and such. Just kind of random stuff.

Then on Saturday will be my bathroom stuff. I will be going au naturel for the next week or so.

That’s pretty much it. Then it will be a week and half of not much stuff. That’s okay, I don’t require much anyways.

So to summarize, just trying to break it all down to easy, manageable days so as to not overtax myself (the irony is I don’t want to overtax myself pointing at what everyone else should do — man, my life is terrible). Tomorrow will be the worst. I’m not sure how much help that group of friends will be, or if they are really even up for doing it. Last time they all just sort of sat around drinking and chatting and I was left there not wanting to be an asshole and be like “I can’t move anything myself! Please! I need help! Stop talking!”

I’ll let you know how it goes next week.

For your benefit, here are some great deals. Get your own blog for just $1.49 using this GoDaddy coupon 149scott. If that’s not up your alley, try out something for your pet with these Petco coupons.

**Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Researching vans to travel in — thinking of the Sprinter July 10, 2014

I guess it’s time to start researching how to get myself more mobile since I don’t seem to be getting better. I was thinking of getting a van. Maybe some kind of conversion van I can lay down in so that when I want to go to doctor appointments and such, I will have a way of getting there. Right now, I hate to go to the doctor because the whole thing is so painful. Besides, with the last doctor that did me in and made me so much worse, I don’t need another reason to lose track of trying to find a way to get better. Something is wrong with me, and someone needs to figure it out. It can’t just be this way, it can’t …

So some of the things that I looked at recently were Dodge Sprinters, which I realize has a Mercedes engine. So, after some research, I realize that Mercedes is now in charge of making and selling the Sprinter. They have a lot of good information on the website that helped me learn about what they had to offer.

First, a person can standup in the Sprinter. That’s necessary for me. Too often people tell me to just lay down in the back of a car. Well, I can’t. I can’t crawl in. I can’t stoop to get in. I need to stand, sit, then lay. In that order. I am 63 inches. That’s perfect to walk into a Sprinter.

I also learned a lot of campers outfit their Sprinters and make them conversion vans: http://www.midwestautomotivedesigns.com/?page=products

So now, I already know it can be done.  You can buy a Sprinter all decked out, ready set go. But, I don’t need a toilet and a shower. I need a way to get to doctor appointments and to maybe be driven every once in awhile downtown for some semblance of a life.

I really think I am going to look into this further. I also found out that since it is a Mercedes diesel engine, that 200,000 miles is nothing to worry about. Good to know. I don’t think that I can afford a brand new Mercedes Sprinter. Yet, if it is my only way to get around …

OH, one more option, Ford is coming out with a 2015 Transit. It’s very, very similar to the Sprinter. I wonder how much it will cost? It’s taller than the Transit Connect, which is that cute little model they have out now, it’s just not long enough or tall enough.

Let me know if any of you have found any good options. Or maybe have a van that you have already converted. Just keep in mind, I can’t just get a Ford cargo van, because, again, I can’t crawl into the back of one of those. If I could do that, oh, my! I would be physically doing so much better!

 

**This blog is made possible thanks to a Petco coupon at http://www.scottsigler.com/petco-coupons.

Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Settling into new place almost complete June 25, 2014

It’s now been three weeks since I’ve moved in order to facilitate healing, and to not be trapped in my own apartment.

So far it’s been going fairly well.

As of last week, the carpet was proving to be very difficult for me and my back. I spoke to the apartment complex, and they refused to do anything about it. Well, that is until my husband went ape-shit on them. Now they are all ready to do something about it.

Well, it’s too late. We were able to find a solution ourselves that is working out so far quite well. I’m able to stand at my computer without too much difficulty now, so that is good. No more hanging out in the kitchen!

I still find myself going outside a lot, as it is easier on my back to be on solid ground. I love the San Mateo weather here. Even though I daydreamed that simply moving would make me suddenly better, I’m still quite pleased with the ability to enjoy nice weather. I go outside and talk on my phone for a few minutes to friends, or instead of reading something indoors, I’m able to stand outside and enjoy the sun. It helps the mood a lot to see the sun. Maybe it doesn’t help my back get any better, but I do enjoy a better mood.

I do find it humorous that I like to stand near the pool. All of the people who are there are always giving me funny looks, as if to say, why are you standing and not sitting? Cause I can’t! But it’s nice to be near the water, and to hear the kids laughing. I can stand for a few minutes, and it makes me happy.

**This blog is made possible thanks to a Petco coupon at http://www.scottsigler.com/petco-coupons.

Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Settling in is an adjustment June 21, 2014

Settling in has been quite trying. First of all, there were so many things that I had not considered.

First. The toilet was too short here. It’s like a baby toilet. I literally could not sit on it. It was so close to the ground that I couldn’t reach it. I had to research toilets online and find one that was ADA compliant. Then I had to schedule a plumber to install it after getting permission from the landlord. Thank God they allowed it. Now, it is so much easier. However, I never, ever would have thought that that would be the case.

Other thing. My apartment complex says that it allows Direct TV. That’s bullshit. As soon as my guy came to install it, he said he noticed no one else here had one, which aroused his suspicions. Sure enough, not actually allowed here. Total crap. What can I do now? I’m so disabled I can’t go to a bar to watch my games. Oh, wait, let me take a step back. I don’t care about anything else other than football season in a few months. How am I supposed to watch my Green Bay games? I’m not well enough to go to a bar. I can’t walk there, I can’t drive there. Plus, I live in San Mateo, where is there even a sports bar that will show Green Bay games here? Plus, I like to hear the sound. Too often when you go to the bar you can’t hear the sound, only the sound of the home team, and let me tell you, I DO NOT want to hear Niners’ games.

I have settled upon Hulu Plus for now. It serves all of my needs. I really only like watching Colbert Report and, don’t laugh, General Hospital. I have a Netflix account so I can watch movies, and I can start season two of House of Cards and then move onto OITNB. I hear that is very good. I’m also kinda interested in watching Fargo now that it is done and it got good reviews.

But I digress.

One of the other hardest things was the internet. First, they cancelled my internet in SF three days early, right in the middle and beginning of the move. Then, I make them promise me they will turn it on here, which, doesn’t happen. It was a big disaster that I don’t even want to go into, but I was without internet for a week. Yes. During a move, I had no internet. No good way to look stuff up. No way to check emails. No nothing. Remember the toilet thing? Try looking up what kind of toilet you want on your iPhone. It’s a pain. I also blew through my data plan on my phone, and you try telling your 4 year old niece you can’t FaceTime with her because I’m out of data on my phone. Not gonna happen.

The other hugest issue is that this place is carpeted and the floors are completely uneven and, in fact, rotted through. Yup. All this place did was throw new carpet onto rotten floors that are also completely uneven. It completely hurts my back. I was not anticipating not being able to stand on cushy carpet. There is a lot of padding down to try and cover the holes. There are huge holes in the floor, and there are divots, and slants, and slopes everywhere. Right now I have several calls into corporate to have them fix it. I pay $2100 a month. I don’t need my floors to be so shitty. It’s lazy. I literally had one guy tell me when I told him he needs to rip up the carpet to figure out why my floor is so slanted and has holes in it, he said “well what do you want me to do if we find them? Who’s gonna pay for it?”

Really? That’s his answer. Disgusting. This isn’t the 1880’s and I don’t live in a tenement building. I live in San Mateo, part of Silicon Valley and the suburbs of San Francisco. Get it together.

Now I spend all my time in the kitchen because the floor is fake wood in here. Although, this too is slanted because my weight scale goes nutty on the floor in here because it is so uneven.

 

**This blog is made possible thanks to a Petco coupon at http://www.scottsigler.com/petco-coupons.

Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com